When A Black Person is Not Black

So I end the month with a summary. Black History month, as it comes and goes every year, feels like a highlight on all Black/African-American people and all things Colored. Cautious white people now get to ask those questions they always wanted to know but dare not ask: What is Kwanzaa? How do you do that with your hair? Do you actually find Lil Wayne attractive? And so on and so forth.

For all who don’t know, I am Black (as if my name doesn’t say it enough). What always surprises me is when someone tells me that I am “not Black.” For instance, a White person will call me “not Black” because it means they feel comfortable around me. 10 times out of 10, I take it as a back-handed compliment that doesn't leave a mark (ya'know, firm but not too unforgiving). And sometimes Black people call me “not Black” because . . . umm . . . I guess it's because some things I do are anti-belligerent. I don't know. #MovingOn. 

At this point in my life, both are equally hurtful but whatever. Life sucks and then you die.

I think what is most confusing, especially to me, is how someone can tell you what you aren’t. Just to give you all an idea of how stupid people are, please find a short list of the stupidist shit I have heard (and yes, people have actually said this to my face. Prepare yourself!):

1.       I was not pregnant at 18 so I am not Black

2.       I know who my daddy is so I am not Black

3.       I enjoy pop, rock, and techno so I am not Black

4.       I don’t drink Malt liquor so I am not Black

5.       I don’t say nigga (or an equivalent) in every sentence so I am not Black

6.       I enunciate and use correct grammar so I am not Black

7.       I haven’t been to prison so I am not Black

8.       I don’t smoke weed so I am not Black

9.       I don’t use slang often so I am not Black

10.   Ignorant rap discourages me so I am not Black

11.   I don’t support Tyler Perry so I am not Black

12.   I think the government is here to helpminorities so I am not Black

13.   I don’t dress in urban clothing so I am not Black

14.   I have a savings account so I am not Black

15.   I know how to deal with cold weather so I am not Black

I could probably go on for days but will actually stop there. #Whew! Now that I got that ignorant shizah out of the way, let me tell you why I am Black:

16.   My biological parents are Black

BOOM! See how easy that was! Why can’t the world understand that there is ONE and only ONE way to be Black? Damn people like to over-complicate things!!!

All in all, being Black is just that, Being Black.

And another thing, since you got me going, Black a LOT of times can mean being underrated. But we still do things like save a country in Recession (President Obama), start a revolution (Negro press of the 1920s), and revive a dying Catholic Church population (Cardinal Peter Turkson from Ghana). #JustAGuess

Well, to tie this knot, stupid is as stupid does. And Black is as Black is! Bring on March!!

The Truth About Ebonics

We are now entering Round 3 of random topics in Black Culture and I am ‘bout to drop a heavy load on ya. . .  And no, not in the sense of I am going to poop on you (like that scene in #Movie43. BTW seriously don’t waste your time or money watching that movie. You will have more fun drowning kittens.) . . . And again, no, I don’t mean it in the spermal sense of load dropping. #Perverts. I mean it as “dropping some knowledge.”

In-tee-ways, this week is particularly interesting because I am going to defend something I mostly loathe: slang.

To me, slang, particularly Black slang, is one of those #thangs that are an innate contradiction. It is simultaneously constructive and destructive. It is incorrect English but yet an excellent tool for expression. On one hand, it can define a mood perfectly, but on the other hand it may also not make any sense. Ya see (or ya don’t) it’s all about communication.

Definition: SLANG is a type of language that consists of words and phrases that are informal. These phrases are more common in speech than in writing. It may be used as a means of identifying with one’s peers.

In short, it is bad English used circumstantially to build familiarity and create sociability. Or even simpler, shit you say to keep friends. But that’s not the interesting part. Oh no no. It gets better.

The attraction is despite the fact that slang is used as a tool to unite people, in general, humankind has re-defined it as a communication disorder of the remedial, undignified, lower class… or minorities. So, to those of us who actually have communication disorders, stutterers such as me, Winston Churchill, James Earl Jones, and Marilyn Monroe, to name a few, this is quite offensive. (FYI, a communication disorder is NOT a representation of someone’s intelligence. Check my Blog Game. #Burn)

People, mainly people who don’t speak in slang, enjoy scoffing at Ebonics, which is a hilarious word so innately I can understand why you won’t take it seriously. But other than that, there is something to appreciate about its creativity and growth in popularity. Let me give you some examples:

1      One hunnid – slang for one hundred. Typical Ebonic move, just drop some letters. This is also seen in phrases such as “gangsta,” “aye gurl,” or “mon fucka.”

2      Hellyoutalmbout – slang for “what the hell are you talking about?” The technique used is to slur the words together, analogous to legato in musical performances.

3      I heard that! – honestly, I don’t even know what this means or why. Really, it’s just fun to use after someone else speaks. Maybe its acknowledgement or agreement. Whatever!

4      What is you wanna do? – I am not sure of the exact moment in time, but one day it became acceptable, gangster even, to drop verbs or use the incorrect conjugation of a verb. “I is,” “you is,” or “we the best” are a few examples.

5      HAM – This is an acronym that is actually spoken. It stands for “hard as a mother**ker” but sounds stupid. Me, myself, personally, I was so happy when they retired this word.

The point I am trying to make it that the ability to create a language and simultaneously stream that into another language is tough. But if you have ever played this minority game before (I kinda have the high score), then you understand the skill required to play both sides of the fence.

As said in Selena (1997 film about Mexican-American superstar), you have to be “more Mexican than the Mexicans and more American than the Americans, both at the same time!” This sort of thinking is called Double Consciousness, a term created by W.E.B. DuBois. This idea, paraphrased, says that we have to consider (with our movements, thoughts, sayings, and the like) how BOTH Blacks and non-Blacks see us. Then, we have to determine how each perspective will be affected. For example, it may stop us from saying “nigga” in mixed company. Other times, it may encourage us to walk with #swag. No matter what, it is a constant game of thinking, doubting, re-thinking, determining, deciding, second-guessing, reflecting, and so on and so forth. 

Okay, so maybe it's just me and I tend to over-think.  But whatever! You can take your bamma ass up out my face. #Church 

Blacks Vs. African-Americans: The Battle Continues

Hi. Salutations. To those of you who are new to Black people, let me be the first to welcome you to the gracious culture filled with complications, contradictions, competitions, and whatever else. I know that this may be a confusing time for you, with the  President Obamas, Tiger Woods, and Drakes of the world floating around, but don’t worry. I am here to help. To the rest of you who have been riding next to me on this roller coaster ride, what-up tho! It's nice to see you again! And I love what you've done with your hair!

Any who, the second topic of my Black Blogs of February is one of the many internal, controversial debates within the colored community, Blacks versus African-Americans.

Ya see, I am Black. Every single day, for the past 24 years, I have been Black. And every day, for the rest of my life, I will be Black. When some people see me, they think I am African-American. Obvy, these people don’t know a lot of Black people. Or else, they wouldn’t have made such a silly mistake. I mean seriously, I don’t even look African American. #Racist. However, I digress.

Ya see, an African-American is an American who originates from Africa. The term is often substituted as a label used to define the race of a colored individual in a non-insulting way (i.e. it is a politically correct term for "you have dark skin and I have no idea where you might come from so I'm just gonna call you Black and wait for you to either accept it or get really pissed.") To some of us, if you call us the wrong word, it’s okay. We know you were just trying to be super-cautious. To the rest of us, you will be corrected. . .

Here in DC, or Chocolate City, the non-colored community is more aware of race relations. Mainly, it’s cause they are outnumbered. Usually someone of non-colored decent will come up and ask either:

1.      If you are offended by the word Black or

2.      What you prefer to be called

It is this type of social consciousness that I missed in my super brief (not flying underwear) time in Connecticut. Quick aside: There are 2 races in Connecticut: White and Everyone Else. If you are in the minority, i.e. the Everyone Else, the Whites tend to be, if I may be #blunt, fucking rude. I hope you got thick skin and good luck!
However, I digress.

If you are reading and STILL don’t get it, let me break it down further. The term African-American describes a person from Africa who is now in America. For instance, if you are from China and are now American, you are Chinese American. #Simple. Now, the confusion is that Blacks do not necessarily come from Africa (for a quick review, go back to my “I Am Not My Hair” Blog and look under Black). This is where the beef becomes Hamburger Helper.

There are a lot of Blacks who HATE being called African-American, because they don’t claim Africa. Me, for instance, I have no idea where I come from. It’s kind of a process to figure out:

1.      My roots can be traced to a certain part of the United States and maybe a specific plantation.

2.      From there, we have to determine if the Black slaves of that plantation were from Africa, the Caribbean (the Trans-Saharan slave trade preceded the Trans-Atlantic slave trade), or another plantation in the US.

3.      Then we would need to determine the race of the other slaves to account for inter-slave procreation (Aborigines/Native Americans, Indians, Arabics, Chinese, Australian, Europeans in Servitude, etc.)

4.      Due to master-slave relations, aka rape, we would then have to consider the race of the slave owners (British, Irish, French, Dutch, Negores, Mixed-race, etc.)

5.      Considering that the paperwork on most slaves is not kept accurately, we will end up speculating and guessing.

6.      Then find the plantations of those ancestors and repeat the steps 1-4.

Or you can just call me Black. The point us, some prefer to be from no where than to be from Africa. Most of those associations, or stereotypes, involve infomercials with bugs on kids eyes and poverty and AIDS and other negativity. Ambiguity kinda looks good in comparison.

On the other hand, African-Americans are not Black, i.e. they were never slaves. They did the immigrant thing and ended up here in America, like everybody else in this country. They don’t have that ugly history to deal with, and therefore find it disrespectful if you call them Black. This one Nigerian-American dude was telling me how his great-great-great-great-great-grandfather killed a whole colony of Europeans who tried to enslave his tribe. Calling him Black would be like stripping him of his history. I mean, I get mad when someone tells me I look bad in my favorite shoes. You are stripping me of what I know to be true. . .  Okay, so that was probably a bad analogy, but my Sperrys are on point. #ActLikeYouKnow

The reality is Black is a term for ambiguous dark-skinned person and African-American is a term for Americans coming from Africa. If you don’t know what to say, don’t say anything or just ask.

Keep it PG-13 and we should be all kosher. #Beast

The N-Word

You don’t get it. That’s fine. You’re probably not black.  And if you aren’t black, you can’t use it. So, ultimately, it’s none of your fucking business . . . But to those who are inquisitive and wish to understand the contradiction that is the use of the N-word, please stay tuned.

I have found that all my life I can’t explain the use of the N-word to non-Blacks. We can spend time together in school, at work, outside of both school and work, etc. but if you aren’t Black you kind of miss the point of our word (yeah, I said OUR). But here's my first, best effort at trying to explain . . . 

So, I was watching my favorite network, the Home Box Office, aka HBO, checking out another one of their exciting dramas. And I came across Boardwalk Empire, one of my premium channel favorites, due to its healthy balance of sex, violence, and drama. Then, another amazing analogy aroused my arteries to allegro animato (i.e. my heart skipped a beat). Prepare yourself. . . <insert suspenseful pause> . . . The N-word is like alcohol.

Perfect sense, right? Or maybe too brilliant?? Anyway, check out my timeline of the transformation of each:

	Alcohol	The N-Word
Beginning	- Used for partying/ caused death - Provided medicinal use	- Used by slave holders as a defeating mechanism
Transformation	- Removed via Prohibition	- Removed via re-identification of Blacks (Negro -> Colored -> Afro -> Black)
Today	- Recognized as troublesome - Used in moderation	- Recognized as troublesome - Used in moderation

In the beginning, both were bad. Alcohol, in the early 1600s was considered to be a sure way to end life. It separated men from their families, made women unfit mothers, caused crime, and undoubtedly death. However, there were always components of alcohol that made it good. Por ejemplo, its delicious nectar could be manufactured to produce anesthesia (kinda like marijuana being medicinal #LiesAndDeceit).

Similarly, the N-word was a derogatory term. Not only was it an identification of race, but it was a socially acceptable deprecating adjective for Non-Whites (yes, including Native Americans, Indians, Mexicans, pretty much anyone who wasn’t white). It was used to show dominance. There were no positive subtexts or associations, unlike alcohol.

Then, it transformed. The use of alcohol was banned. Essentially, it became the devil’s choice of beverage. And legally, its reign over society “ended.” Most adults were sober, or so they said. . .  #MoreLiesAndDeceit

Additionally, a new generation of Americans understood the moral implications of the word and sought to end its prejudice (or they were busy hating Nazis). Just like banning alcohol, the N-word was replaced. Members of the non-white community became “Negroes” and/or “Coloreds.”

However, in both circumstances, the audience sought not to end them completely (they ran out of Nazis to hate). The use of alcohol grew as knowledge of its positive uses increased and the Prohibition ban lifted. Additionally, the identification of the “Colored” became “Black” or “African-American.” Yet, the original n-word still lingered.

Today, their presence is complicated.When used in excess, alcohol has been understood to be destructive (#WhiteGirlWasted). Yes, the over-use of alcohol is a disease. The combination of alcohol and driving kills. It has its bad moments, but overall it is a pleasure . . .

In a similar way, The N-word is used to the dismay of many. Me, myself, personally, I don't use that word often, but when I do I gets rachet. In the Goodwin household, a "nigger" is an ignorant person, not of any particular race. Yes, the use of the N-word by a non-Black still stings. It bears a major historical weight and is used as a self-destructive mechanism. But truth be told, “niggas aint goin no where."

And that’s my brilliant analogy. . . well, I tried. Of course, the debate over the N-word is more complicated but at a high level, I think this makes a lot of sense. 

And, as noted by Einstein, everything is relative. Depending on your experience, you probably interpret the word differently. Various flavors may be as follows:

-          Nigga: a friend, associate, or another person endeared

-          Nigra: the Creole/ French pronunciation

-          Niglets: the children version

-          Nigette: the female version

Some Blacks use it in the household, some don’t. Some use it in mixed company, some don’t. Some whisper it to themselves shamefully or curse others with it, and some simply do not. It is as equally versatile as the alcoholic beverage, and probably just as troublesome.