Bars are so much fun to work in because of the nights where you get the randomly specific set of locals who come in. Those who know college park are familiar with Cluck-U-Pac, the 2Pac look-a-like who works at the corner store chicken joint, aka Cluck-U-Chicken. Then you got the guys who show up with props tryna book chicks. I seen one man walk with a toy horse-head-on-a-stick. Then we got the old dude in the club who would roll up in his 1973, John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, silk, V-neck shirt with grey taco meat on his chest. He staying picking up women and ballroom dancing to umm every song.
Honestly, most nights can be unpredictable. But beyond those nights of expecting the unexpected, you can find comfort in relying on the expected. Aka, the regulars. Rarely do you find a bar where the crowd is dull and the regulars are lame. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it happens. But not that often.
The bar I DJed at had a host of normies that come in for their usuals and leave with fun stories to tell. To name a few of the CP-flava, we had the following groups:
1. Sororities – I swear these chicks had a competition to see who could spend the most of their non-academic hours at the bar.
2. Jocks – you’re on scholarship so school is free, books are free, and there are drunk/horny/gold-digging sorority girls practically living at the bar. #ObvyChoice
3. Locals – you were born and raised in Hyattsville and this is “going out” for you. A college bar for 19 to 21 year-olds.
4. Perverts – scheming the dance floors looking for the freshman and the younger sisters who snuck in behind them.
Now I have had the displeasure of seeing a-many-a-drunk-woman get taken advantage of on the dance floor. I’ve seen finger rape and damn-near-gang-pile-ons. There’ve even been women who performed fellatio on the manager just to get in through the back door. It’s crazy what these drunk, desperate, young women do just to get in a bar (and not just any bar but a bar that smells like shit and is full of underage children and randoms. I’m sorry but no random penis in my mouth is #WorthThat . . . But hey I guess I was raised different. Good parenting momma). However, I digress.
Despite the a-many-a-drunk-woman who were sexually mistreated and disregarded as a sexual object and nothing more, the universe has a strange way of evening the playing field. In addition to all the perverts that were checking out women, we had one dude who loved men. So, out of the handful of old men sprinkled around the bar, we had random disco guy, the owner, the manager, and the one who was taking advantage of men . . . sexually.
So quick synopsis, this dude was like in his 50s. Old, white man #SilverFox. Seemingly friendly to everyone. Men and women. Strange thing, this guy was rich. He had a lot of money and enjoyed buying drinks for everyone. Men and women. He even had a boat that he took out on the water on the weekend. If you were special he would even invite you on his boat. But not everyone, just men. He would take these jocks who loved to get shit-faced and they would set sail for an “adventure.”
And every guy who went on this boat would NEVER return to the bar. Dead? Nope. They would show up in school after the “adventurous” weekend. They would even show up at their perspective sports games. But not a-one would mention would happened on their sea “adventure.”
But we all know, he took them men out their and had a good ole sexperimenting time.
Okay, so maybe this is just some habitual rumor that gets spread every Fall season. .... Or maybe it's not. Either way, that is reason #2 why I won’t get drunk around people I don’t know.
SOOOOoooo many life lessons learned at the bar!
