So I was sitting up one night and started thinking, what if everyone was insane? Like, I don’t do drugs, other than the occasional liquor lick, but I was just thinking what if everyone was an undiagnosed nutjob roaming the streets?
Like what if we all had a little bit of schizophrenia, and a touch of ass-burgers, with a coating of racism for flavor. Like what if everyone on the planet had some form, or another, of every basic social DISORDER. But for some odd reason, we can control or manipulate it so it does NOT affect our daily lives...much. Does that make us more crazy or less crazy?
Still not following? Well let me continue to digress.
I am a HUGE fan of Orange is the New Black (Netflix me up and Netflix me out)! I love the second season more than the first season because it gave us a light into the lives of each of the inmates. And their back stories are oh so interesting. So much so that I am blogging about it.
Ladies and gentleman, boys and guhls, I now present to you the OitNB list of exaggerated mental behavior:
1. Piper Chapman – the main character. Well-to-do young adult, engaged to a nice young man, somehow finds herself in state prison. She is constantly pretending she does NOT belong but it becomes more and more obvious that Piper is Superman-ing us. In reality, Superman is Superman. His disguise is Clark Kent. In reality, Piper Chapman is a damn criminal. She is a mischievous, troublesome, fighting, manipulating convict. Her disguise was pretending to be a normal person. Sociopath much?
2. Alex Vause - Piper’s Ex-girlfriend and the reason Piper is in prison. In a recent turn of events, Piper has gotten Freed-Alex back into prison. Alex is a helpless romantic who don’t understand forgive and FORGET. She forgives and remembers. Out of everyone, she simply wants to do what’s right. And her good intentions got her back into prison. Dudley Do Right or Dudley Dumbass?
3. Crazy Eyes – Poor, poor Suzanne. Black girl in a white home. She was always different and her parents sought to further destroy her (with good intentions #obvy). They made the mistake of enabling her and now she has been led down a path of social maturity in the wrong direction. It may take years, or better yet decades, to undo. As of now, she is a social outcast who can recite poetry and barely do her hair. She tends to break out in tantrums, such as pissing on the floor and beating the shit out of people. The only time she was close to okay was when she had a strong, female role model. So, rehabilitation for a person plagued with a touch of Aspergers’ and little-to-no sense of self?
4. Sam Healy – This prison guard is living one of the saddest lives ever. First, he is a guard at a women’s prison (#BestJobEver?). Second, the only wife he could get was via purchase, i.e. a mail-order Russian bride. Third, he collects plastic bobble-head dolls. (Like not like normally, but obsessively... trust me, its creepy. in-T-way...) Fourth, he is strangely angry at all lesbians. I mean after his job and his wife, can you imagine that? I could name like five or six more things wrong with this man, but who has the time. At the end of the day, he is so close to the cuckoo’s nest that it’s incredible he is running the prison and not in it. Delusional and NOT an inmate.
5. Pennsatucky – What can I say but she is crazy! The meth has ate up her mind and her first set of teeth. (In fact, it continues to eat up her mind and her second set of teeth.) She double-barreled, shot up an abortion clinic cause some idiot was talking shit about her. Not about her unborn child but about the fact that she can't use a damn condom. Again, instead of admitting to that VERY BLATANT truth, she is simply accepting the shit-ton of money from the Pro-Life Religious nuts (side note, how can you be pro-Life and support a person who took lives. i'm just saying, #MakeSense #its2015). Any-who, she riding the gravy train all the way to money-town!
Now I am all for letting out your emotions, but what The FCUK! Psychopath or simply smart enough to pretend to be religious? I don’t know. But a predisposition to violence and a high level of impulsiveness pushes me toward psychopath.
Now I am all for letting out your emotions, but what The FCUK! Psychopath or simply smart enough to pretend to be religious? I don’t know. But a predisposition to violence and a high level of impulsiveness pushes me toward psychopath.
So the point I am trying to make is we all got our own shit to deal with. But who’s to say that we ain’t all one "watching the wrong porn on public wi-fi" or one "stolen credit card" or one "beating your girlfriend in an elevator" away from prison. And there, in prison, you can’t run and hide. You have face your demons, head on. As for me, I plan on conquering the world... just me and my demons. #ImCrazyJustNotCrazyEnough. Okay, I'm gone.
