Monday, March 9, 2015

Magic Eight Ball says Grow Up!


An old parable states “curiosity killed the cat.” Not only is this use of alliteration perfect, but you learn a lesson as well.

Thank you parable writers of day’s old.

Recently, I discovered a new interpretation of this well-known saying. Someone, in a most inquisitive fashion, sought to challenge this sentiment. He/She/Shim simply phrased an equally short but powerful question, “What if the cat is alive?” #Blown

Wait, so you’re telling me, whole time, the infamous death-by-curiosity feline may actually be alive!?!

Fuck you parable writers of day’s old.

Much like the lasting effect of Gone Girl, my socks were forcibly removed from my very own twinkle-toes (Seriously, watch it only after preparing yourself. Your heart may fall out of your chest. However, I digress). Hence, the theme of this blog, un-learn the many lessons of your life to become a real, true A-DULT.

As in the example above, curiosity was something punishable by death. Yet, in my adult years, I have learned that truth-seekers, validaters, spell-checkers, whistle-blowers, auditors, and the like are celebrated, commendable professionals. Therefore, accepting the world at face value may be one of the DUMBEST things a grown adult can do. #FoxNews #ABCNews #TheMajorityOfNewsOutlets

These parables, comparative to the religions of day’s old, were set in place to control minds and prevent unnecessary up-rise. Seriously, anything that tells you to not question it, should be questioned. I’m saying though, can you imagine if parables were people? Like what reason have you given me to trust you? You have to earn my trust! Who the hell are you? You can believe dees nuts…sorry I got carried away. Where was I? Oh yeah.

Moving from adolescent to adulthood requires a recursive step of reviewing the many “nurtured” lessons of your past. The world is very gray, at least 50 shades…haha…I’m hilarious. Seriously, understanding the holistic perspectives of life is ESSENTIAL for survival. Examples include:

  •  If we never challenged rules, how would we ever have realized homosexicals deserve to ruin their lives through marriage like heterosexicals?
  •  If we never questioned our science, we would think the earth is the center of the universe and we would have not searched for Uranus…hehe…
  • If we never thought outside the box, Viagra might be the #1 medication for cardiovascular disease!

And the opposite is true as well. Sometimes, old rules are just as important as they always were. Quick example, eating food is good for your body. Also, breathing is important. Ya know, #basic.

Anyway, the moral of this story is “do NOT think of life like a magic eight ball.” 

To drive life’s decisions down one of twenty options (only 15 of which provide you help #SeeAbove) means you’re not really living. You’re practically dead. So you might as well be curious. I mean, what have you go to lose, other than your life… And what is that cat up to? He’s probably working on the next Viagra. Or he’s dead. Or he’s not. . . I know. 
All up in that cerebellum, I am. #Yoda-edYouGot