Adolf Hitler Could’ve Been Worse, He Could’ve Been British

So, if you know me, you know I am not the biggest fan of ass holes, i.e. Adolf Hitler. And I know it is not nice to hate, no matter how demonic, sadistic, hypnotizing, propagandizing, conniving, or evil, but I am obviously struggling with the forgiving nature that a Christian is suppose to have. And the fact that this shithead called himself a Christian truly disturbs the elemental foundation on which I base my religion. However, the problems I have with those people who refer to themselves as “Christians” are a totally different story. #FocusGoodwin

So, knowing how I truly feel about this, for lack-of-a-better-word, douche, I have to insult you by saying that I am completely biased in my opinion. To some, he is a savior. And no, I don’t mean to late-blooming Germans or those KKK idiots in Sister-Fucking Alabamer. I mean to normal, cultured, educated, well-mannered individuals. Now before your jaws hit the floor, bear with me as I explain.

I have the pleasure, as the date written, of working for a company that hires a load of Indians (from India, not the Native American kind). Knowing me and my ability to chat it up with just about anyone, I found myself in an interesting conversation with a guy from well across the Prime Meridian. To be honest, he schooled me on some interesting things.

For instance, did you know Mein Kampf, Hitler’s autobiography, is one of the best selling books of India’s youth. #TheFcuk #Astonishing #IKnowRight! They seem to, dare I say it, idolize him; for he was a man of discipline and patriotism (truer words were never spoken).

Yeah, I know what you are thinking. What is wrong with the pizza-faced, hormonal, probably-on-opium adolescents of India? What about the fact that he killed over 6 million Jews and 5 million non-Jewish civilians in the span of 5 years? Did they ignore his extremist ideas of racial purity that, had they been in Germany at the time, would’ve called for their own deaths? Or are they just trying to get back at their parents for taking their iPad away?

Then, the conversation went for a crazy turn. After I pointed out the obvious, he said something that shocked me. I repeat, verbatim, his words were “So?” Not only is he a mindful, flawless debater, but he totally stole that throwback-comeback from kindergarten.

I was insulted, as I gave him my patented you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me face, but then came the mind-crescendo. “History is told through the eyes of the winner.” And then he asked me how many non-fighting civilians were killed during World War II? Of course I had no answer. But if you wanted to Google It, you would find it’s about 50 million dead civilians. Interestingly enough, there were only 25 million dead soldiers. That means, if you had a gun and chose to fight in the war, you had a better chance for survival than someone who sat at home listening to those jazz records of the roaring ‘20s.

So I rebutted, “Well that’s different. That’s war!”

Then he hit me with the mind explosion. “So, you are saying that it’s okay?” BOOM! Mind-blowing statement that went unmatched!

Crazy right! Then, I really sat and thought about it. America shoves its foot in Afghanistan, Iraq, etc. and kills off insurgents (aka pedestrians with guns). We have no idea how many of them are dead, and we don’t care cause WE are fighting the GOOD fight. If they DIE for being WRONG, then it’s okay. Right? Again, I digress.

But Hitler was savage and cruel! I mean, how unique was he in his cruelty? He kept his cruelty hidden in imprisonment camps. That is almost polite. Imagine if it were socially acceptable to watch men get eaten by a group of lions. Or imagine if it were your job to stone a person for being disabled or deformed. For Christ’s sake, being a woman WAS a deformity. And if you were a woman who chose to live alone, you were hung, in front of the entire city. Public display of national affection can include but may not be limited to the following:

-          Genital mutilation

-          Killing the first born (no matter the age)

-          The removal of appendages (eyes and ears and mouth and nose, head, shoulders, knees, and toes)

-          Et cetera.

Xenophobia, essentially, is the way to cleanse the world of . . . the rest of the world. At least Hitler knew his ideas weren’t accepted publicly. But had he been British in Pre-America America, he would’ve been all clear. #RogerThat

But Hitler wanted to capture the entire world!  If you ignore his savagery and focus on his uncanny ability to steal countries, you would find many parallels in history. He, sadly, is on the softer side of jerkiness. Let’s look at his competition:

-          The British Empire. They had, at one point, captured 20% of the world’s population in 1938.

-          The Gupta Empire captured 26% of the world in 400 AD.

-          The Tang Dynasty captured 30% of the world.

-          The Mauryan Empire captured 42% of the world in 250 BC.

-          The Achaemenid Empire captured almost half of the world before that.

Had he not been born, the world would be better. That is a fact that no one can prove. Let’s not live in the woulda-coulda-shoulda’s. His insanity united the Jewish population worldwide. Furthermore, the global aid and defense toward the Jewish minority allowed other minorities, especially Blacks and Women, the ability to successfully fight for their rights. He set genocide on a world stage and forced a solution. And plus, had Britain not been involved in fighting the good fight, India would’ve never been granted there independence. So in a way, Hitler freed a few 100 million people, although he ended up killing 75 million . . . . and then some.

So why hate Hitler? Obviously, he was a single-point of a racist, extremist, and imperialist mixture, wrapped up in a crazy little German bundle. But we forgave all those other countries full of racist, extremist, imperialists. And they have a well-known history of raping and pillaging. I guess it is strange who we celebrate after war. Hmmmm.

Either way, Hitler is a jerk and I still HATE him. Fuck Hitler. And India youth, let’s read a book on Ghandi!

The Apocalyptic Generation – An Article

Since birth, literally, I have been hearing about the end of the world. You would think that most adults would understand that a certain event, such as the end of the world, can not be predicted. But who expects them to listen.

Maybe it is to scare people. Maybe it is to prove some sort of superior intelligence. Maybe it is to gain some magnificent power. But for some reason, they keep on guessing.

Now you are left with my generation, the latch key generation. The kids who rode buses home ALONE, used their keys to open their houses ALONE, completed their homework ALONE, and made dinner ALONE. And they wonder why us sarcastic, self-sufficient youngins’ are so stubborn. This falls way beyond “parents just don’t understand” (stolen from a Will Smith song).

Reality: We think you all are stupid.

There’s a lot of irony in a group of intelligent people gathering to form a massive collection of great minds resulting in some moronic decision-making. I present to you, the facts:

• The Killer Bees of the 1980s. The killer bees were cute. Ahh! Run from the bumblebee with the murderous sting. It is coming to get you.
• Mad Cow Disease of the 1980s. Even the mad cow disease was funny. That led to a great knock knock joke. Remember? Knock knock. Who’s there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow ww-MOOOO!
• Mass Suicide Cult of the 1990s. Then things got serious. Religion got involved. We had cults popping up every which way. People were killing themselves in their NIKEs and sweatpants.
• Y2K, year 2000. Then the epic technology apocalypse, aka Y2K, aka the computers are coming to get us. This was preceded by iRobot, A.I., and all those other movies where humanity’s greatest invention, computers, results in its downfall. You know when people start making movies about it, it can only be true. #MovieFact
• Nuclear Wear threats of the 2000s. A few threats for World War 3, including but may not be limited to Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Russia, North Korea, China, and all of Africa. Most of these had a Michael Moore documentary or some insightful film where the problems of the world boiled down to a lack of understanding for your fellow man. Again, if someone is making a movie about it, it can only be true. #MovieFact
• SARS epidemic of the 2000s. A few politicians made the mistake of shipping their cocaine via United States Postal Service and that birthed the SARS epidemic. This ultimately vanished, without a trace.
• Bird Flu Epidemic in the 2000s. That was followed by Bird Flu, because we know doves, parakeets, and Tweety Bird are straight gangster.
• Swine Flu Epidemic of the 2010s. Then, the Swine Flu, code named H1N1, came to ruin our lives. Solution: free antibacterial wipes everywhere. And when I say everywhere I mean every single place. I know crack-heads that were hustling those little bottles.
• End of the World in 2012. If that’s not enough for you, we have the biggest epidemic coming. We have all heard of it before. Thousands committed suicide because it is inevitable. The most famous, least proven theory of them all, the 2012 Mayan prediction.

But if it’s one thing Captain Planet taught us, because clearly our parents were not around to raise us, it’s that the earth can not be controlled or manipulated. It can only be pissed off. The truth is no one knows when the world will end. There is no way to know.

9 out of 10 dentists and psychic friends agree.

So RECYCLE or we will lose Haiti & Japan, turn California into an island, and visit Europe to see molten remains of “the continent overcome by volcano”.

Reasons to Write A Blog

If you are a person like me, you don’t always have a safe place to vent. So rather
than become a YouTube ranter, I will try my darndest to facilitate an intellectually
stimulating, however uncompromising, discussion on various controversial issues.
Please Find Attached (PFA)