So I was chatting it up with my coworkers, discussing the follies of the world we live in, and we somehow got on the topic of ugly people.
Now before you get all judgmental, let me tell you, it was not I who inspired this debate. Cause if you aint know, I am as cute as a button. So cute in fact, that many people have attempted to place me in their pockets…unsuccessfully. However, I digress.
It seems like research and development departments of huge biology firms and research labs and whatever else are generally focused on discovering new, unimaginable connections. Things like “is homosexuality genetic,” “is smiling a learned behavior,” this, that, and the other.
I mean that’s great and all but let’s get back to basics. Let’s justify the truths we know before we justify the truths we haven't learned. For instance, let us re-imagine the reasons behind things like genetics relating to success, i.e. how is it that ugly people tend to be so unsuccessful at life?
I mean, let’s be honest, if you are ugly, your life is pretty much ruined. For instance, all presidents have been easy on the eyes, especially as of late (yeah that’s a shout-out to the half chocolate chip, half macadamia nut leader of the free world).
And then there's the correlation between attractiveness and difficulty of major. Oh, wait. You haven't noticed? No? Well then, walk on to the campus of the university of your choosing, without looking like a sexual offender please. Count the attractive engineers and then count the attractive criminology majors. Count the attractive physicists and then count the attractive marketing majors. Now, correlate success rates to major. . . Do you get what I am laying down?
The secret to life is simple, if you aren’t attractive, find another way. I mean seriously, the only unattractive people that have some success (relative to how you define success) are comedians, rappers, statisticians, geeks, athletes, and any other profession that requires you to be extremely talented in one area or another.
Vice versa is also true. Attractive people can let themselves go. If Brad Pitt became robust, I would still try and rock his World War Z. But if you see a fat chick with buckteeth and a GED equivalent, you have to wonder how are you not dead yet or when is your episode of Maury coming on? (okay, so that was wrong but ehh my blog. #SuckIt ). To be realistic, how can you possibly compete in a world rampant with the Cash Money DJing Hiltons of the world. I mean seriously. This girl is so over-accomplished it is disgusting.
Well anyway as mean as that was, it was a thought I had. If you’re attractive, you are pretty much set for success. Whatever.
But if you are ugly, motivate motivate motivate. Cause you might not make it boo boo. #Fact!
