Saturday, November 2, 2013

Fugly Gets You No Wheres


So I was chatting it up with my coworkers, discussing the follies of the world we live in, and we somehow got on the topic of ugly people.

Now before you get all judgmental, let me tell you, it was not I who inspired this debate. Cause if you aint know, I am as cute as a button. So cute in fact, that many people have attempted to place me in their pockets…unsuccessfully. However, I digress.

It seems like research and development departments of huge biology firms and research labs and whatever else are generally focused on discovering new, unimaginable connections. Things like “is homosexuality genetic,” “is smiling a learned behavior,” this, that, and the other.

I mean that’s great and all but let’s get back to basics. Let’s justify the truths we know before we justify the truths we haven't learned. For instance, let us re-imagine the reasons behind things like genetics relating to success, i.e. how is it that ugly people tend to be so unsuccessful at life?

I mean, let’s be honest, if you are ugly, your life is pretty much ruined. For instance, all presidents have been easy on the eyes, especially as of late (yeah that’s a shout-out to the half chocolate chip, half macadamia nut leader of the free world). 

And then there's the correlation between attractiveness and difficulty of major. Oh, wait. You haven't noticed? No? Well then, walk on to the campus of the university of your choosing, without looking like a sexual offender please. Count the attractive engineers and then count the attractive criminology majors. Count the attractive physicists and then count the attractive marketing majors. Now, correlate success rates to major. . . Do you get what I am laying down?

The secret to life is simple, if you aren’t attractive, find another way. I mean seriously, the only unattractive people that have some success (relative to how you define success) are comedians, rappers, statisticians, geeks, athletes, and any other profession that requires you to be extremely talented in one area or another.

Vice versa is also true. Attractive people can let themselves go. If Brad Pitt became robust, I would still try and rock his World War Z. But if you see a fat chick with buckteeth and a GED equivalent, you have to wonder how are you not dead yet or when is your episode of Maury coming on? (okay, so that was wrong but ehh my blog. #SuckIt ). To be realistic, how can you possibly compete in a world rampant with the Cash Money DJing Hiltons of the world. I mean seriously. This girl is so over-accomplished it is disgusting.

Well anyway as mean as that was, it was a thought I had. If you’re attractive, you are pretty much set for success. Whatever. 

But if you are ugly, motivate motivate motivate. Cause you might not make it boo boo. #Fact!

1 comment:

  1. I think you have a valid theory, however, I think there is another side to this that is overlooked.
    So, is Bill Gates attractive? There are many people that did not grow up attractive and are now very "successfull". Also, as people become successful, they have the means to get the best clothes, makeup, hairdressers, personal trainers, nutritionists and photographers, and can make themselves appear much more attractive. Did you ever see Hoda's (from Hoda and Kathy Lee) high school yearbook picture? She looked a mess. But now she is a beautiful woman.

    Right now you may be saying, "yes, bex, this is what I have been saying - did you NOT read my blog post?" "Bill Gates had to motivate motivate motivate..." But hear me out.

    What I am considering are all the precious, super-cute children, who from the time they are little more than a baby, have it drilled into their minds: "you are so cute" "you are so precious", "omg you are going to grow up to be such a beautiful woman" (and yes, I feel that it is sexist towards women - maybe thinking "you can marry a rich man one day" but let's leave that for now).

    I think that it is possible in many circumstances that attractive persons, starting from when they are very young, unfortunately may develop negative consequences (in terms of "success") from all this focus on their superficial appearance. It could be a myriad of consequences from body and image issues to not have taken seriously the subjects in school that would make them successful as they think they will become models or just get by somehow on their looks. Or, perhaps they just never received the encouragement or support in their efforts in their studies as much as the "fuglies". This will be a huge detriment to them in life, leading them to have low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness, or feeling stupid. And, ultimately, as a result of this focus on the exterior, such persons would be less successful than the less attractive youth that strove for positive reinforcement through efforts in sports or studies, or developing an amazing personality, for example. Efforts that will last a lifetime, and unrelated to superficial appearances.

    In conclusion, I think it is especially important for the 'non-uglies' to not be fooled by their pretty face and the short lived attention they get from it. The 'attractives' should be extra careful not lose sight of what ultimately will happen to them if they don't focus on what is real. It is the more attractive persons that are more likely to fail by being fooled into thinking they don't have to try.

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