Rap Lyrics Demystified - Big Sean

So there has been a lot of talk regarding this song from Sean of a gargantuan nature.  Most claim that these lyrics were written regarding his non-vagina-cleaning, current Glee star, future ex-celebrity, ex-girlfriend Naya Rivera. Those of us who enjoy the phantasm that is Glee, know her as the bossest of the Boss Ass Bitches, or Santana, who, when pushed will go “all Lima heights on your ass.”

That being said, I would like to personally apologize for the ignorance of the many. It is clear that this song is not at all dedicated to Santana (and yes, I will be referring to Naya as Santana because, lesbi-honest, I like Santana more. Naya a dumb ho). This song is most clearly explaining his anger at meat, a choice disregarded by most vegans. Oh, you didn’t know that the Big Bad Sean was Vegan! Well, obviously he’s not tryna tell nobody cause he be bad at it.

Regardless, please find the perfect translation of the meaning to the song “I Don’t F**k with You” by Sir Sean the Big:

I don't fuck with you
You little stupid ass bitch, I ain't fuckin' with you
You little, you little dumb ass bitch, I ain't fuckin' with you
I got a million trillion things I'd rather fuckin' do
Than to be fuckin' with you

For someone who is trying so hard to convince us he doesn’t care, he is failing. If you got a million trillion things (we skip billions round here?) you would rather do, then why are you not doing them? Why would you rather write an entire song about how you have something else to do? #Denial #YouAreCaught

Little stupid ass, I don't give a fuck, I don't give a fuck
I don't I don't I don't give a fuck
Bitch I don't give a fuck about you or anything that you do
Don't give a fuck about you or anything that you do

So the repetition is nice. It’s almost like you’re trying to pound a concept into our heads. The song hasn’t begun yet, but I have already seen the words “little” 4 times, “bitch” 3 times, “stupid/dumb” 3 times, and some iteration of the phrase “not fuck[ing] with you” 9 times. So it is clear to me that I am small, unintelligent, and not to be messed with. #GotIt

I heard you got a new man, I see you takin' a pic
Then you post it up, thinkin' that it's makin' me sick, brr, brr
I see you calling, I be makin' it quick
I'mma answer that shit like "I don't fuck with you"

So unless this “girl” posted a pictured with a caption saying “for Sean Grande,” why would he think it’s for him? Oh Seany-boo, I think you’re forcing this logic a little bit and even logic rape is rape. Anyway, 95% of my posted pics are of food, so I will assume this is the standard for the rest of the Internet. So, quick recap, the chick posts up a food pic and he automatically assumes it’s for him. Sounds like the vegan diet you just adopted is making you paranoid.

Bitch I got no feelings to go
I swear I had it up to here, I got no ceilings to go
I mean for real, fuck how you feel
Fuck your two cents if it ain't goin' towards the bill, yeah

Well you do have feelings, i.e. this entire song. So the lie detector determined that was lie. And then you get so mad that you exclaim “fuck your two cents if it ain’t goin’ towards the bill.” This line is obviously a statement about the grocery bills. If your meat-lovers-money needs to be going to anyone, it should be going to Largo Sean’s Bill.

And everyday I wake up celebratin' shit, why?
'Cause I just dodged a bullet from a crazy bitch, I
Stuck to my guns, that's what made me rich
That's what put me on, that's what got me here
That's what made me this

So now, he is reflecting on his vegani-progress. He has dodged the advances of the ham-hocking society that we all love and know and he is focusing on his amazing financial savings (#SaladBeCheap) and brand new sexy body (#KaleSmoothies).

And everything that I do is my first name
These hoes chase bread, aw damn, she got a bird brain
Ain't nothin' but trill in me, aw man, silly me
I just bought a crib, three stories, that bitch a trilogy

He is again reflecting on the type of meat-eaters he does not like, the type of money he does have, and how generally he’s just a regular ole rapping, vegan, rich man.

And you know I'm rollin' weed that's fuckin' up the ozone
I got a bitch that text me, she ain't got no clothes on
And then another one text, then your ass next
And I'm gonna text your ass back like

The “weed” reference here is obviously a play on words. He is referring to his vegan diet and how it does so many great things for the environment. Essentially, Sean here is reminding us that the over-powerful meat industry is manufacturing animal carcusses, emitting toxins into our earth, and controlling our politicians with their insane advancements in money and power. The only way to truly stop the meat-industry-ass-holes is to remove their privilege and power from underneath them, i.e. adopt a vegan diet. Oh and he also mentions a naked woman (probably some hippie) and another lady that supports his cause. Nice activism Sean the Large.

As a result, he mad he missing the bacon. Thas all. My advice to you, Mr. Sean, is to first reduce the type of meat before completely cutting out all the meat. Try limiting yourself to poultry and then go vegetarian and then go vegan. But cold turkey, man its gonna make you a hot Dog! (yeah, it was corny but I did it anyway...)