Consulting 101: Projecting

Sooooo last week was great. I got $1 in reparations, which I immediately spent at the McDonalds dollar menu. #BuildingTheEconomy #ImBlack #ScrewYou #JudgementFreeZone.

This past week, a little stressful. I feel like the world, mainly Court-Dawg, has been beggingme to right this blog.

Maybe I feel this obligation because I haven’t consulted in a while. Maybe it's cause I haven’t manipulated any particular group or set of individuals all week. Maybe I just miss wearing Business Cash to an office where I spend half the day worrying about what I haven’t drank at Starbucks and the other half conversing about financial blah blah blah and market value blah blah blah.

In truth, I miss mind control (what Smokey had on Debo). It is this type of self-righteous empowerment that makes consulting such the self-esteem picker-upper that it is today. And don’t get me wrong. Consulting isn’t the only profession where tricks and techniques of this kind are used. It’s just the one the readily comes to mind.

Any-who, the fundamentals can be used in your everyday life. To get your kids to clean their room. To get your roommates to clean the common areas. To get your parents to get off DeseNuts. No matter what the purpose, I am here to provide these helpful tips.

So I start my consulting 101 with this infamous concept known as Projecting. Projecting, as defined in my Goodwin-Webster, is the act of broadcasting one’s deepest insecurities to everyone. In some ways, this is perceived as a cry for help. Conversely, it is simply poor hiding. Either or, it is something we as humans all do. A good observer will be able to pick up on these hints quickly. Please find famous examples below:

1.       The seemingly queer guy who goes on and on about his girlfriend in Canada that no one has ever seen or met

2.       The residually-attractive, overweight, shy girl who is a whore and will do something strange for a little change

3.       The newly-employed, college graduate who, after landing a job, refuses to show her ID at the club because of how obviously important she is

4.       The single man who is constantly bragging about his late-night sexual exploits with hundreds of women

5.       An entire album of only 10 songs named 20/20, apparently inspired by some average chick

Okay so that last one isn’t fair. Obviously, #JessicaBiel is a perfect match for #TimberlakeTheGod and he loves her (I guess), BUT when a man wants to dedicate an entire body of work to a girl, to me myself personally, I see it as a red flag for OVER-doing it, aka HIDING something.

As I learned from Waldo, that candy-cane-looking mother clucker, the best place to hide is in plain sight. And again I reiterate, we, as in ALL people, have insecurities. And naturally, we don’t want to broadcast our secrets. So we overcompensate, ultimately acting and doing the opposite of how we feel.

So we realize this and we want to do better. How do we change? Why thank you for asking! To conquer this feat of NOT broadcasting, I see two options:

-Either become secure in your crap or
-Continue to lie to yourself.

Both of which are viable solutions. At the worst case scenario, the world will get another Facebook. And yeah, the kid with no friends would start the greatest social media craze ever. #ImJusSaying. In the best case scenario, there won’t be male prison inmates taking advantage of female prison guards. #DMV

So, win-win!!