Thursday, November 1, 2012

Politicians in Skirts and Flip Flops


This year’s election campaign has been brutal. I mean truly negative. And I shouldn’t voice my opinion, because I would hate to sway a few undecided voters, but BOTH candidates lack the IT factor (I mean “it” as in the pronoun representing the indescribable trait that makes someone special. Not like “it” as in the information technology acronym or Dave Pelzer in A Child Called It).

Truth be told, who you vote for won’t have a HUGE impact on your life, per say. Essentially, the president just heads a bunch of committees that make big decisions about the overarching infrastructure of our country as a whole. So, most of the changes he/she makes will go unnoticed for years. #SpoilerAlert. (Slight digression but I am bringing it back)

All in all, the negativity of this year’s election has trickled down to even the state level. Up here in Connecticut, Linda McMahon and Chris Murphy are going at it like Itchy and Scratchy. And most people are giving in to the cynicism. I mean, honestly, the average Joe looks at these candidates as if they are trying to decipher who is the assassin with the contractual mission to kill the American dream (either by selling us to China or raging another unconstitutional war). But the problem is not the candidates; the problem is us.

We, as a country, are getting so wrapped up in the name-calling, the wise-cracks, the back pats, the tie colors, and every other possible erroneous topic. None of these things are actual presidential requirements!! For example, when did the attentiveness of the candidate’s listening face become the deciding factor for the leader of the free world? Our focus has strayed from what they are saying in these campaigns, debates, and commercials to how they move, their stances, gestures, and mispronunciations.

This isn’t The Voice, American Idol, the X Factor, The Next: Fame is At Your Door, Dancing With The Stars, America’s Best Dance Crew, America’s Got Talent, The Sing Off, The Duet, or whatever other crappy competition where you vote for your favorite “act.” This is the Presidential Election! By deciding if the holder of the most powerful position in the world is someone we can sit down and chat with over a pint, we neglect the issues. And really, that is an injustice to ourselves.

So here is my solution: Blind Voting! We vote on issues and not on the actual President. A crazy thought right? But bear with me. What if, on the ballot, we could choose our stance on an issue, and then have those decisions tell us which candidate to pick? In this case, we won't choose the person based on party (Democrat or Republican), Race (Chocolate or Vanilla), Religion (Mormon or Christian), or whatever else. Kinda brings an element of surprise to voting, don't it? #CakeCakeCake

Reason 1:
This bi-partisan crap is driving away the issues and bringing focus on “who” we are electing and not “what” they stand for. Yes the two-party system was created so that the Average person could align themselves with one of the two major political philosophies, those of Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson. It was Jefferson himself who said “men are naturally divided into two parties.” But we all know that these parties have changed significantly in the past, oh, 200 years. Nowadays, the parties are intertwined so much with Religion and Money, the state and federal government power struggle is irrelevant. So I propose we change it up a bit. Let’s vote on issues, and not on people.

Reason 2:
The average American iscapable of thought, despite our obsession with publicizing ignorance (6 Seasons of Jersey Shore). If you disregard our lazy dumbness and our dumb laziness, we are functional enough to pull it together for local elections. I mean, if we can vote for Proposition 15 and decide redistricting for our schools, we can voice our opinions for issues like abortion, education, and war. And no, I don’t mean each person in the country will vote on each and every move of the US. That shit cray. I mean vote for your opinion on issues, rather than the person who will enact those opinions. And whosoever aligns with your opinions gets your vote.

It’s just like Fantasy Football. Instead of picking teams (parties) to follow, you pick players (issues) based on their statistics (your thoughts). #YesImAGeniusWithoutWorkingForApple

So yeah that’s my highly improbable idea, blindly voting for the person who I think represents my views. I mean, it will probably not come into fruition. I'm just being silly, as usual. Me and my fantasy world, thinking the US public has opinions. And then, thinking the candidates will stick to a platform. No more flip flopping opinions (Romney) and skirting around issues (Obama).  Oh, silly me with my high apple pie in the sky hopes.

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