WARNING: If you are a Christian or somewhat religious the following is incredibly offensive. Look away now! Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
There should be a stronger word to define how inappropriate this blog post is. Fact, I am a habitual line stepper. Fact, I am also extremely inquisitive. That combination, alone, makes me the WORST Christian. Aside: My public education system should have never told me to always ask questions because I have yet to stop! Anyway, on to offending people! Mush!!
I don’t know why I have been thinking so hard about this lately but I have been quite perturbed on the spirituality aspect of my life. Maybe it’s because religion involves such blind, illogical, non-resistance known as “faith.” Or maybe I am just PMSing. Or maybe the holidays got me a little out of funk.
Either way, I was peeping Dexter (not as good as #HBO but ehh, I can deal) and he was talking about a red-suited, fat man who brings gifts. . . . Anyway, Dexter mentioned that Santa wasn’t real and all of this Christmas happiness is based on a lie. And to me, that was kind of like a double doozy.
1. Of course Santa is not real. How crazy is it that some guy has been sneaking into houses for hundreds of years and hasn’t got gunned down by a hillbilly in Mississippi with a sawed off shotgun?
2. Christmas isn’t about Santa, it’s about Jesus. Jesus Christ! Christmas! C’mon Dexter!
And then I really thought and contemplated. How can we so readily accept that Santa is real when Jesus and Santa kinda do the same thing? Like for reals, this is what the-rastafarian-who-does-my-hair-sometimes was saying (FYI: future blog about this guy is in the works).
So here is a list of things that defeat logic, but my religion makes me believe:
Jesus watches over us, so we should be more Christ-like. The whole Santa thing is a trick to keep kids well-behaved for the year. It’s crazy to think that we are watched 24/7 by some old, fat man. BUT Jesus is not a man, he is the human form of God. And it is perfectly rational to believe this human-form-of-God is always with us (individually of course) and is totally NOT putting us on a Naughty or Nice list. #CoincidenceIThinkNot
Even though I am Black, I can be a Christian. Christians and Blacks haven’t had the best track record. Only a generation ago, Christians were the ones burning crosses in our front yard. #SelectiveAmnesia. Yet, Black folk use the Bible despite this alarming fact. I find it weird that if you open up the Bible, you may find a few passages that call for racial cleansing (Example, Midianites in Numbers 31:7-18). To be fair, God only wanted the Midianites dead because they weren’t Jewish. Plus, he kept the female virgins alive...
God is kind and benevolent. So, if you truly believe that God is in control of everything, He is to be blamed for a lot of the not-so-kind, not-so-benevolent recent events. And yes, I mean everything from killing the first born of every Egyptian family to letting a maniac kill children who attend an Elementary school in Connecticut. Fact: these are NOT the acts of a benevolent spirit.
The Bible is a book of miracles, not fairy tales. I truly doubt that every “Christian” believes the tales of the bible. A lot of them honestly sound like something you read in a pop-up book to a child before they go to sleep. Examples include a woman is made from a rib, a man builds an ark for two of every animal, a man talks to a burning bush, a boy defeats a giant, a prostitute washes Jesus’ feet, etc.
A day in church is a list of tasks that are not magical in nature. According to Christianity, rituals are wrong. Not sure why but it’s either because they are too much like black magic or they lead to OCD. Witchcraft and performing spells are also wrong, because it involves some communication with the Devil. However, performing the same “tasks” on a recurring basis (but not like a ritual) in the name of God is okay. In addition, free-styling a language, or speaking in tongues, is okay, because God knows what you mean BUT Satan doesn’t. FYI: Satan is also near every person all the time, too.
In short, when people say Christians are hypocritical, backwards, and/or inconsistently crazy I have to agree. Most “Christians” are not exemplary. We have folks who judge others based on how they interact with their husbands, folks who have kids before they are married, folks who get divorced, folks who get abortions, and folks who are gay. If you go by the “rules” of the Bible, these things, although reoccurring in the Church, are not Christ-like. Yet, Christians tend to nitpick which “rules” to follow.
Unfortunately, or not, Christianity is NOT based on rules. I will argue that Christianity is experience-based and based on faith. My approach to religion is emotional, spiritual, and solely based on what has happened in my lifetime. Fact: Nobody can prove God is real. But I can share how an incredibly inefficient corporation is still successful. I know how I got a Bachelor’s in Engineering, working 3 jobs, and worrying about my brother in the military. I have seen mothers raise kids by themselves with nothing but their own strength.
But I am legitimately odd. I see the world in rose-colored glasses. I am the type of person who can read the statements above, know it is true, but still not be waivered by fact. To me, God is real because I don’t believe in coincidences. Someone is in control, and if not, we are screwed.
Plus, we are essentially following the same religions of our Ancient ancestors. Fun fact, there are a lot of coincidental similarities between Horus (son of Ancient Egyptian god Ra) and Jesus. So, it is my opinion that we are praising the same God in the same way, but with a different name. Hmmmmmm.
I suggest you do the research yourself. Either way, I aint got no worries #LilWayne. Boom!
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