Diarrhea of the Mouth

So, I am from the DMV area (DC and Maryland and Virginia for all of yall who aint in the know) and I have spent a large portion of my life with Kane, Sarah, Sammy, Eric, Melanie, Intern John, and some forgettable broad who I have once again forgot. If you don’t know you better ask somebody. . . I can tell by the blank computer stares that you don’t know so I will answer. This is the “extended” cast and crew of the Kane Show, appearing Monday through Friday on Hot995 from 6AM to 10AM (then followed immediately by the Sarah Show).

Anyway, this obnoxious, rude, sexually-frustrated cast and crew present commentary on a crap-load of random subjects. If you are a fan of my blogs, I can say I have been partially inspired by the randomness of the Kane Show. I have dubbed my writings and their recordings a stream of consciousness hereby defined as the Little Wayne syndrome. (Definition: You pretty much just say whatever’s on your mind and then switch to another topic with no cohesion.)

Recalling one of their latest conversations, after Celebrity Gossip and before the War of Roses, they were discussing Diarrhea of the Mouth. I mean, who doesn’t like a #PoopGag? Anyway, have you ever said/asked something and had not realized you were actually offending someone? Then you had to stop, back up, bend down, and put your foot in your mouth (metaphorically, not literally. That would be extremely painful and amazing if you are that flexible #roar).

Take this instance as an example:
Woman A: O-M-G Bitch. I hate you. You look so skinny. What are you doing?
Woman B: Chemotherapy.

To wrap that in a nice little tortilla for you, the frienemy just gave her coworker a compliment for having cancer. #FcukedUp

Yes, I know. But haven’t we all been there. You probably thought you were making a joke, solidifying a connection, or having innocent fun at another person’s expense, and you find yourself insulting the very person you were trying to relate to. I know it’s a tough pickle to crack but pickles are meant to be cracked. #Stupid

Very recently, I have been that person. I mean yeah, I stutter. And yeah I kinda talk like a country bum who got lost in the valley but only after travelling a few years overseas. So my accent is pretty much impossible to place. And yeah, I even have a pair of shoes I refuse to take off, despite the fact that they no longer match anything in my wardrobe. So yeah, I got a couple flaws. But overall, I am pretty confident and secure in my package.

But somehow, a person I barely know, mind you, made a comment that struck a chord. And it really hurt. I mean, I didn’t cry, cause I am not a vagina. But the thought crossed my mind. And then an air of awkwardness floated between us, and will probably remain until the end of time.

In short, that sucks. In truth, I found myself at a crossroads. What do you do if someone blatantly disrespects you to your face, but by accident?

You MAN THE HELL UP, explain to them that you were offended, and hope they have enough guilt to buy you dinner or something. . . so yeah. Lesson learned: quit your bitching and use your basic, kindergarten communication skills. It makes me X when you Y because Z.

Example:

It makes me feel bad when you call me fatbecause I am overcoming anorexia.

And if they feel no remorse and continue to piss you off, vaginal punch.